For inspiring background music while reading the poem click:


ďA Grande Armee for a Video Game Freak!Ē


For grand strategy

And generalship,

Cavalry charges,



Ships on seas,

Men at arms

In companies,


Other races,


Arranged in space,

Bases, Nukes,

And last but not least
A birds-eye view

Of Grande Armees
(In real-time strategy)-

These are things that you canít see

If youíre stuck in a hole
As a console freak!

Dump the X-Box- Childís play!

Toss the Playstation- Itís for the gay!

Game Cube- Bah!

Nintendo- Ha!


Now what gets you there
(No need to beware-

Except for Bill Gates

And his terrible wares!)

Is a simple PC-



1Meg DDR,

3Gig AMD

(Intel if youíve lots of money),

21Ē screen,

Good sound card with six

Surround sound speaks,
(So the bullets wiz by
From cheek to cheek),

You can even hook it up

To your HDTV

And kill all online

From sea to sea!

So it put me back $1003?
I built it myself-

Like my Grande Armee!

But donít wait for me

Iíve battles to fight

In space, in air,
On land and seas,

With superior tactics

And grand strategies!

So, go play your games!

Donít worry about me,

Iím getting ready

For World War III...!



The 'bang' and the 'boom' go with the music, since the cannons are missing. Alright, maybe the music was a little over the top (and utterly distracting)!

DirectX-9: Latest Microsoft API for 3D video game designers.
AGP- a video card bus on motherboard. Soon to be superceded.
1Meg DDR- I Megabyte of DDR memory on the motherboard. Getting old too.
3Gig AMD- 3 Gigahertz AMD CPU- best value.
Intel- AMD's better but more expensive competition in microprocessors.
Bill Gates- founder of Microsoft and products that crash a lot.

Phalanx- infantry unit of ancient Greece consisting of a wall of 14-foot pikes.

Grande Armee- What Napoleon called his armies.        

Real-Time Strategy- genre of PC video game.

All rights reserved, © wbiro. Copying without permission for non-personal use is forbidden.