“Little Johnny Smut-Mouth and Slut Janey-Jane”


Little Johnny smut-mouth and slut Janey-Jane

Came together here for a nice quatrain

She called him a 'great poet' when he wrote 'he'll unzip and show it',

Little Johnny smut-mouth and slut Janey-Jane.

Good little Linda had some curiosity

She came to the adult section to see what she could see

Little Dickey Smut had a poem for her

Now all she wants to do is see his thang.


Little Joey wrote a poem about his jizz

He got a lot of responses, all positive

From the jizzy people who browse that sticky way

Like little Johnny smut-mouths and slut Janey-Janes.


Frank wrote about his crank- why leave it to the louts?

He’s a nice guy, that no one doubts,

But he had to- he was losing his girl to a vulgar brute

Who said, “Come on over here and see my big, bad beaut!”


Bill’s got the goods up front

Bill’s got the goods in the rear,

Bill’s talking dirty now

For all the sluts to hear.


Jim and his Peter take an early morning shower,

When Jim's all done Peter’s smellin’ like a flower.

When the girls go by with their curiosity

Peter makes a big bulge for them to see.

Jim admonished Peter for the manners he lacks,

But Peter only got bigger when Jim gave him a whack!


When it’s cold outside Jake’s Joe gets Goosebumps,

To warm Joe up he has to rub your rump.

Rub your rump. Rub your rump.

To warm Joe up he has to rub your rump.


Now don’t get me wrong, Seth's not a dirty guy,

But when the girls want to hear it he'll give it a try.

Hey, don’t blame Seth for writing 'bout the nudes,

Otherwise the girls would only hear the moron dudes.

Because it’s skin Seth want, he can’t fight nature,

He wants yours, you want his, pull the blinds; we’ll catch you later!


In the end it doesn’t matter whether it’s big or small,

Because we all just want to go where we’re loved by all.


Dan pulled his pants down to save his Meg,

She was blindly falling for a big-wadded dreg,

He said, “That’s why I’m showing you my poor little Willie,”

"The dreg isn’t half as me so tender and silly!"


OK, now I’m getting horny, so a verse or three

About what it would be like if it were you and me:


We’d be locked for a week in our honeymoon suite

In a Swiss-Alp cabin playing with each other’s feet.

Then there’d be a little me, and there’d be a little you

And we’d send them both to college, and they’d fly to the moon.

Then we’d grow old together under the old oak tree

In the moonlit night, just you and me.

Then I’d stick it in for a last whoopee!


Oh, why did I submit this?
I don’t think I’ll sign this one.
Now I know how poems
Anonymous become.

Large Appendage:

Big Fred has a problem- his donker’s too big,
So while he’s getting help, girls, go over to Lee.
Lee's thing is not big, but it's not so small,
When it stands at attention, it’s nearly six inches tall!

Tim's member, unlike Fred’s, doesn’t keep his life in ruts;
It doesn’t rule his mind, it doesn’t drive him nuts.
He can use it real fast; he can use it real slow,
When girls touch it there, Boing! Just watch it grow!

“Bob's pulling down his pants, now, Bob's pulling down his pants,
He's pulling, He's pulling, He's pulling, whoa!

How hard Sam tries with his Wee Willie Winkie
Will win his girl not with size, but with a trying-harder dinky.
So there are his efforts, laid crystal clear,
From his stout upfront to his smooth derrière.

"If you show me yours, then I’ll show you mine",
"Then with a gentle thrust", Jack says, "I'll part you wide."
"And I’ll play a tune on your nips which you can’t hide."
See Jack suck.  Blow Jack, blow.
He’ll play a tune on your nips which you can’t hide.

Now you can dress up Jerry's Harvey, you can make him smile,
You can do a lot with it if you tease it a while.
Jerry really wants a girl, it is plain to see,
Harvey tries real hard to sate such curiosity.

Now Chad's a mild guy, I’m always told,
But when he's tied up in knots with you, he'll loose it and explode.
So why then settle for a one-dimension being
When you can have all of Chad, including his thing!


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